Thursday, August 25, 2011

News That Matters - The Coming Apocalypse

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Thursday, August 25, 2011

There's a crack in the Washington Monument caused by the earthquake that hit rural Virginia earlier this week. The National Park Service has closed the monument "indefinitely" giving the Masons an opportunity to complete their alien signaling / world domination device without the public's prying eyes.

There's questions about how an earthquake of that magnitude could strike in a place without active seismic faults. But  within minutes of the quake the anti-Indian Point people were pointing to the event as further reason to shut down the plant. The anti hydrofracking people were hinting that fracking 60 miles away was responsible. But we all know the earthquake was an Act of God(tm) and the proof is in this article.

The government of Great Britain aided Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet during the days when he was called to answer human rights charges against him but held Wikileaks' Julian Assange for hundreds of days without due process. How's that for the rule of law?

Anyway, Wikileaks released today more than 97,000 cables and documents in a searchable format and you can read them here: I encourage a perusal. They're fascinating.

Rick Perry's Texas Miracle:

An actual conversation that took place entering the county park for the pow wow last weekend:

Tom: "Hey look! There' a church in the park."
Me: "That's not a church, it's an historic structure."
Tom: "It sure looks like a church."
Me: "It can't be a church. If it was a church it couldn't be in a county park."
Tom: "It's on Chapel lane"
Me: "That's "sha 'pel", not chapel."
Tom: "Then what's the steeple doing on the ground?"
Me: "That's not a steeple. That's a modern art sculpture."
Tom: "It's a church. It's in the park."
Me: "I'm losing this one, aren't I?"
Tom: "Right from the start."

So, can someone tell me what a church is doing in a county park?

As the Ball Turns.

If one were to judge by the world online, Putnam County has pockets of deep dysfunction interspersed with areas of luke-warm-tea-with-stale-milk blandness mixed with an occasional dollop of over-the-top hilarity.  A brief foray into the Brewster10509 Yahoo group would amuse even the most morbid of personalities while a visit across the county to the Lost Province of Philipstown would put a Hawaiian surfer into a deep coma in mid curl.

We're already deep into Silly Season here in the Land That Reason Forgot and if you drive into Southeast you don't know if you're being hailed or if they've taken up farming over there in a very real way. Every inch of the town is plastered with HAY signs and to be honest, it's all very confusing. And ugly. I have no need for hay and I must remind the sign posters, hay is for horses, not for calling my attention.

There are contentious races in Kent (of all places), Putnam Valley and Patterson as well as that humorous escapade in Southeast. There might be one in Philipstown and if anyone ventures across the Land of Dragons to enter that fair burgh please let us know... if you survive to tell the tale.

Just kidding about the land over on the western edge of the county: Richard Shea, Nancy Montgomery, Anne Nichter and Gary Ritchie are running as Democrats for re-election.

In Patterson it's Mike Griffin vs Greg Ball Joe Capasso in what promises to be an ugly race.

In Putnam Valley, Wendy Whetsel, Jay Michaelson, Sam Oliverio and Steve MacKay are all running as Democrats. I'm sure there are Republicans in those races but I have no idea who they are.

Democrats, at least those not upset by my being a godless communist, talk to me. Republicans do not, at least not in general. Or in public.

In Carmel, Bobby McGuigan has taken on the challenge of unseating party stalwart Dini LoBue for her seat on the Putnam County legislature in District 8. And Democrat Peter Creegan is running for the Town Board there as well.

At the county level we've got a semi-kinda-sorta race with Tea Bagger and Senator Twitter protegé Maryellen Odell apparently running. She has refused - twice - to appear at candidate's forums but hey, she's going to win by fiat so why mess with the public and those nasty questions about the unsuccessful surgery to separate her Siamese twin host Senator Twitter?

There's a Democrat, Alan Schneider of Kent, in the race but I know nothing about him other than that he has deep pockets, deep enough to take out ads in the Leibell Times touting his community involvement over the years. That's probably enough since his opponent has naught but a homophobic State Senator behind her. Oh, and all the Republicans fighting over a piece of Leibell's pie who are busily cozying up to kiss the Senator's milchgoats.

District Attorney Adam Levy, who once went out of his way to have his office persecute Carmel's Lori Kemp for standing up against Paul Camarda and the corrupt Carmel Town Board, had a campaign office in town but it's gone now. I'm guessing he, like Ms. Odell, has no question the public will pull their levers in droves for no reason other than being faithful to the party line.

There's a storm a' commin' for later this weekend. Hurricane Irene is, as of this posting, barreling her way up the coast making a bee-line for the Big Apple and will, if she stays on track, slam into that city as a strong Category 1 storm before quickly dissipating into a mess of wind and rain. A Category 1 storm is a minimal hurricane with winds between 75 and 95 mph which should be enough to scare the bejeezus out of most along the Brooklyn/Queens/Nassau coastline and flood a lot of basements with her predicted 10+ inches of rain.

As of this writing there is a 40% probability that we in Where the Country Begins will experience sustained winds in excess of 40mph and a 20% chance of sustained winds above 40mph on Sunday. There is a 0% probability of experiencing hurricane force winds (+74mph) at any time. The National Weather Service model for Sunday night predicts sustained winds of more than 50mph for an hour or two. See here for more. Expect to begin to feel the direct effects from Hurricane Irene on Saturday evening with the full force of the storm during the afternoon on Sunday. Landfall at NYC is expected at around 3PM.

Anyway, Monday should be a nice day to pick up the pieces.

Congresswoman Nan Hayworth offered tips to prepare for a hurricane:
1) Give the rich all your money.
2) If you're injured, go to the Mt. Kisco Medical Group for care.
3) Don't die. The taxes you pay help keep the rich, rich and your earnings, the MKMG happy.

Back in the day when we were kids we'd go down to Jones Beach and watch these suckers come in. But with the explosion of lawyers and with people believing the world should be bubble wrapped for their personal safety we're no longer allowed to take responsibility for our actions so we're forced to watch the action by paying someone who pays someone to go the beach and watch it for us.

There are a few things you can probably count on even if the storm veers eastward over the weekend. For one, it will probably rain. A lot. For another, you may loose power so deal with it now so you don't gripe and complain later on. And if we do get hit hard you'll be without power for several days, maybe more (if you live out where I do it's a miracle we have electricity at all!) so get your complaining out of the way now to save yourself the effort later on.
Big storms happen. It's a fact.
The power goes out. It's a fact.
It can take days or longer to restore power. That's another fact.
And if your town requires an extensive cleanup it's going to cost money. Don't put your hand out to the state or the Fed. Be good Republicans and pay for it without griping.
But make some preparations in the meantime:
  • Run to the store and hoard all the milk and bread you can possibly fit into your SUV just in case the ocean enters the Hudson, destroys all the bridges and tunnels and we're without supplies for several years.
  • Stock up on fuel for your generators and run them, screaming loud, all day every day and all night, every night, so your kids can watch movies until Facebook comes back online. Besides, I've heard that reading a book by candlelight is illegal now in 16 states and your neighbors really can sleep with that jet-engine roar out their bedroom window.
    (Seriously, if you must destroy the sanctity of your neighborhood run that damned noisy thing for an hour a couple times a day. That's more than enough to keep the fridge cold so long as you don't open the door every 20 minutes to see if anything has changed inside.)
  • On the serious side: Batten down the hatches! Take a walk around your home and pick up anything that might or could blow away. Plants, furniture, bicycles, tools... 
  • Take an hour and clean out what gutters you can reach and that includes storm drains near your home if there are any.
  • If you're a cruel, heartless SOB and force your dog to live outside and away from the pack, make sure he has a secure - and dry - place to be so he can continue to hate you without the added misery of lying in the mud.
  • My friend Chris G who lives in New Haven says: "I highly recommend the following necessities for a Hurricane: 2 oz Dark Rum, 2 oz Passion Fruit Syrup and 1.5 oz Lemon Juice. Mix with crushed ice in your cocktail shaker."
On another matter, I have a 1998, 20" Panasonic Omnivision Model PV-M2068 television which has a videotape player built into the bottom that I'd like to sell. Not give away, but sell. If anyone is interested please let me know. It even has the remote and the original manual. I used to use it for a DVD player connected to a stereo as a makeshift home entertainment center. It works great, by the way.

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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

No Country For Sane Men - VA Earthquake Was An Act of God

No Country For Sane Men

  No Country For Sane Men
    One Man's Journey Into The Mind Of America

August 24, 2011

The guy responsible:

Send Email. But be nice.

Louisa, Virginia: Scientists from the US Geological Service and the Lamont-Doherty Observatory have not been able to determine a specific reason for the 5.8 earthquake which rattled much of the east coast early Tuesday afternoon.

Dr. Samuel Ofsa, a seismic expert at the USGS, said that though there is a known geologic fault which runs under that section of the Piedmont region of Virginia, there was no sign it was under stress. "There might have been something that missed our eye," he said to reporters at a press conference in Washington, D.C., "But we've looked again and we just don't see anything that could have triggered an event of that size."

The "Central Virginia Seismic Zone" has produced small earthquakes before but instruments had not detected any significant stress in the area leaving scientists scratching their heads.

Seismographs in the region detected the earthquake at 1:51PM EST at a depth of 3.7 miles.

But Louisa, Virginia city manager, Peter "Bud" Lilly, says he knows what happened and he still cannot believe it.

"I was at the Mineral Baptist Church out on Shannon Road, listening to a sermon by our preacher, Timothy Cockrane. He was talking about how he had spoken to God just the night before and that The Lord told him that the only man who could save America from Obama's attempts to implement Sharia law, which is against what any American should stand for, was Texas governor Rick Perry."

Copyright Google EarthAccording to Mr. Lilly, the Preacher had just said, "If any man does not believe me, if any woman does not believe me, if God himself does not believe me, let him open the earth and swallow me whole!"

In a written statement Mr. Lilly he wrote, "Just at that moment the earth shook violently and the wooden structure collapsed trapping some parishioners inside. When rescue workers showed up a few minutes later everyone was accounted for save Preacher Cockcrane."

State Police Captain Ed Bassett who was charged with leading the rescue effort told the press that once the debris from the building had been cleared a large hole he described as "straight, deep and emitting steam" was found under the pulpit of the church and he assumes Preacher Cockrane had lost his balance during the earthquake and had fallen in to it.

Voluisa Smith, a long time parishioner at the church, wiping tears from her eyes said, "I can't imagine where a hole like that came from or who would do something like that," She added, "we have no coal mines around here or anything like that."

Another parishioner who asked to remain anonymous said that there was a bright flash just at the moment the earth began to shake and that he saw Preacher Cockrane drop to the ground. "I didn't know that when he dropped he was falling into the pits of hell," the man said.

City Manager Lilly has asked everyone to remain calm and assures the community that the deep "laughing sound", as some who heard described it, was just a natural phenomenon common in earthquakes of that type.

"I sure wish we knew what happened to Preacher Cockrane," he said, "You'd think a man who can talk to the Lord directly would be protected from such things."

Mr. Lilly went on, "Why, I thought I heard the Lord Jesus Christ talking to me once," but never finished his sentence as an aftershock registering 4.7 on the Richter scale shook the municipal building at that very moment.

"I guess I have to think a little harder about what I heard that day," Mr. Lilly said, "It could have been just plain ol' thunder, I suppose."

Texas Governor Rick Perry could not be reached for comment.

Copyright © 2011 No Country For Sane Men
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